Self Nurture while on the journey... it's vital.

Suggestions for self nurturing when you are undergoing treatment for infertility.


• Find an activity that relaxes you: knitting, downloading music, reading, etc. Make time for this everyday.

• Plan an excersise routine. Even if it’s just walking around your neighborhood. Consider joining a gym with a friend. Planning to do excersise with a friend make the likelihood that you will continue to go more after the first week probable.

• Cut down on caffine.

• Watch a comedy.

• Write a letter to an old friend.

• Write your thoughts down in a journal.

• Join a support group. There are often free support groups available to individuals and couples going through fertility treatment.

• Plan a long weekend away, even if you only travel 30min. away, this can be a “real get away”

Women often don’t take the time to self nurture, rather we are often focused on the needs of those around us. Remember that one key to survivng the infertility journey is taking control of the things that you can. This list of suggestions is something you can control.

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Control Freak?

I never thought of myself as a control freak, rather I just have always had expectations about the way my life was suppose to be. You know.... graduatate high school, go to college, fall in love, get a career, marry prince charming and have a baby. I didn't think of this plan a fairytale; rather I believed it was my destiney. Well, 90% went as planned, but the baby thing was my unexpected hurdle. Dealing with infertility was something unexpected and extremely damaging to my self esteem and sense of stability. I guess you learn that nothing is a guarntee in life and plans are often changed or difficult to achieve. So much about coping with infertility was about being out of control of me. I found comfort in the serenity prayer:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,

The courage to change the things that I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Find a way to control what you can in your situation (nutrition, physician, treatment cycles, reading material and support system) 

The right doctor matters when seeking treatment for infertility.

The key to finding the right doctor is knowing what to look for and what questions to ask.  You have to do your homework before you see a specialist.  There are large fertility clinics and small sigle physician practices.  Finding the right provider is a very important decision on your fertility journey.  you must try to take control of your treatment path at every opportunity.  The process of choosing your specialist is vital.
Things to consider:

• Does the clinic report their results to SART and how are their numbers?
• Is the physician board certified in OB GYN?
• Is the physician board cerified as an REI?
• Did the doctor have fellowship training with infertility?
• Do you get to meet with the doctor upon your first visit?
• Are you an individual or a number?  How important is this to your treatment?
• How responsive is your physician to your questions and concerns?

Take the time to find the answers to these questions.  You can't afford to waste time, money or emotional energy with the wrong physician.

Infertility Tools and Resources for Couples

When and Where to Get Treatment....

Professional organizations (like the American Fertility Association) suggest that if you are younger than age 35 and have not conceived following 12 months of unprotected sex, you should see a physician.  If you are age 35 or older, the guideline is 6 months of unprotected sex.  If you are age 40 or older, get to a physician immediately.  AFA American Fertility Association


Women often make the mistake of staying with their GYN for too long.  Many GYNs say they treat infertility, but this is not their main focus or specialty.  You must be educated and become an advocate for your own care and treatment.  Explore physician specialists called Reproductive Endocrinologists.  These are the physicians who specialize in every aspect of infertility treatment.  There is board certification to be an REI, this certification goes beyond training to be a GYN.  You must be a informed consumer of your medical care and seek a second opinion related to the best course of treatment.  Investigate specialists in your area comparing credentials, years of experience, fellowship and patient testamony.  Remember that offers for money back guarntees and free cycles of tratment are not always what they seem.  Compare physicians on paper first, then meet them and deceide if you feel comfortable.  Having a feeling of trust with your doctor is essential.  Interview a potential provider as if they are responsible for the most important outcome in your life.  One key element to adaptively coping with the emotional challenegs of the infertility journey is not having regrets about your provider.

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Out of Control and searching for hope

It really doesn't matter how long you have been running on the infertility treadmill (one year or eight) you may have a sense of being "out of control" of your life.  You had expectations about the way things "should be" and things are not going according to plan. 

I once heard that if you want to make God chuckle, tell him you have a plan.  Wrestling with having a baby was never part of your plan or mine.  The other memorable truism of life is that "Change is the only one thing that you can be certain of in life". 

I endured more than seven years of infertility.  Having a baby had become the most important thing in my life, it engulfed every aspect of my being.  It impacted my marriage, my job, my self esteem and my outlook for my future.  Some words of wisdom that helped get me through the treatment and offered comfort when comfort was scarce was offered by my mom

She said: "Keep faith that you can be a mom, we don't know how or when, but there are options and you have choices... but you can become a mom"

She would then talk about advanced treatment options and adoption.  Knowing that I had options gave me hope to continue forward and explore the options that were ahead of me.  Hold on to that belief, you can be a parent.

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